heartbreaker..

Sigh... ok, for those who are going to read on, please take note that this will be a very depressing post. So i suggest if you do want to be depressed please do not read beyond this paragraph.

I think i have become too obsessed with my idol. Ok not i think. i know. I havebeen annoying my friends with his name, i keep talking about him everyday. Yeah, i know... What's wrong with me right? Sigh... The other day, was talking to my friends aboutsome topic and i started talking about the previous but quite recent 9óclock show., Mitu. And i think i kind of triggered the felling in my friends that i am going to talk about him again, indirectly. Then i dunno how i kind of screamed out that my friend "'hung'' up on me twice. She wwas obviously taken aback.

Then , she called to say to want to talk it out. In the end we ended screaming at each other and accusing (me to her0 about things .. Sigh.. I really have no idea about went came over me. Perhaps it was the deception of me and my idol and yadayada, i think u woiuld know the rest. No no9t sleeping together and getting married.Please, that is impossible. Definitely cannot happen. Ah, dunno lah, just the fact that i became super obsessed with my idol that it ruined my friendship with a really good friend of mine. No i'm not blaming him for coming into this world and becoming every girl's fantasy of a bf perhaps. NOT SEXUAL FATASY, thank you very much. Not for me at least. I surely do not want to find out if there are , neither do i want to know what they are. Anyway, i screwed up my friendship because of my obsession. And i do not have anyone to blame but myself. I truly felt soooooooooooo bad for making a big deal out of it, meaning my obsession and fighting about it. Ou8r friendship is not totally broken, but it has become thinner and more fragile. Sigh....

To the person whose feelings were hurt by me: i am really sorry about what i did to you and i hope that you will forgive me. I am really sorry. And i wish i could take back the words i said to you... I'm sorry.